How to File a Wile E. Coyote Lawsuit of Your Own
A brief announcement from your friends at The Monroe Gazette on how to sue South Blooming Grove and DOGE.
Howdy.
This is a short-ish post.
I am fighting a very nasty virus. Around these parts, we’re calling it “The Mitts.” There will probably be typos. There are always typos. I’ll tell you a secret: If you get The Monroe Gazette in your inbox, and there are typos? Go look at the version of that post on the website. I do my best to catch and correct them. I will never get all of them. Honestly, I can do the leg work, get you the facts, and publish what we know to be true. Or I can put in less time to do all that and fuss over every word.
I hope I’m feeling well enough to go to some of the awesome protests scheduled for tomorrow, May 17th.
That includes the protest here in Monroe at the corner of 17M and Lake Street, starting at 1pm. (Remember, should you encounter any MAGA Nazis at any of these events: Don’t engage. Do record.)
This Monroe protest is rain or shine, although it’s sounding like we’ll get rain.
IF that’s the case, I encourage you to come out regardless. No matter how brief your stay is.
The key is to stick around long enough to find your event’s organizers. In the case of the Monroe event, it’s Carol and Nora. If it’s raining, find Carol and Nora. Make sure they have your email address. This way, even if the protest is rained out, you’re still taking action. There will be other opportunities for us to take back our country from the traitorous and Un-American MAGA movement. For example, No Kings Day (June 14th) is right around the corner.
Little Actions Make Big Differences
Here’s another little action you can take, if you live in New York State. There are primaries coming up in June. You can go to this handy website, and get yourself an Early Mail Ballot.
If I was running for office? You better believe that every single person who signed my nominating petition is getting an email, or a post card, or another visit to their door — preferably all three — to make sure they signed up to get their Early Mail Ballot. Voter turnout for primaries in New York State is notoriously low. This is by design to keep powerful incumbents from both parties in place. The way to counter that low voter turnout is to make sure everyone that’s signed your petition is engaged and motivated to get these Early Mail Ballots.
When we all vote, you don’t get shitty candidates elected.
President Trump was not elected by an overwhelming majority in 2024. The 2024 election was one of the closest we had since World War 2.
President Trump was also not elected by an overwhelming majority in 2016 either.
The 2016 election was decided by an arrogant Clinton campaign team that didn’t bother to visit those key states often, if at all. In 2024, millions of Democrats who voted for Biden in 2020 stayed home. This one is a bit more complicated to explain in a pithy sentence or two. Other than to say, the corporations were telling Harris what to do, not the voters, and both Democrats and Republicans saw through her bullshit.
(Personally, I thought Harris would have been a good candidate had Biden resigned due to his cognitive issues and given her time to serve. That’s the whole point of the Vice President. If the president can’t do the job, the Vice President does it.
Sadly, arrogance seems to permeate the modern Democratic Party, and it’s cost us all dearly. If it’s true that Biden’s cognitive issues impaired his ability to lead half-way through his term, then everyone who covered that up needs to be held responsible for it.)
For Monroe and Woodbury residents, the stakes couldn’t be higher. State Senator James G. Skoufis wants to be your future Congressional representative. Ideally, once Pat Ryan decides to run for Governor of New York. (The majority of New Yorkers, including Democrats and Republicans, consistently have said through polls that they do NOT want another Kathy Hochul term, btw. She may only get another term if the Republicans run MAGA Nazi Elise Stefanik as her opponent.)
Skoufis plans to get to Congress by selling out everyone he can to the wealthy real estate developers. If I lived in Tuxedo, I’d be especially nervous, by the way. Since the State Senator has also just interjected himself into the local school board election. A good Rule of Thumb when it comes to Skoufis is that, if he put out some announcement saying he didn’t do something? The odds are good he did it. He also knows, as we’ve established, that Straus News won’t fact check him, which is why he just sent them a statement involving the Tuxedo School Board race. If Skoufis is interfering with a local school board election, I’d start asking around Tuxedo and see what else he’s interfering with.
But here in Monroe and Woodbury, we can say factually that you have State Senator James G. Skoufis actively involved with these primaries. He has nothing else to do, you see, because his Pro-Trump, fascist ban on masks was defeated. I mean, he could be fighting to bring univeral healthcare to all New Yorkers through the New York Health Act. He could also be meeting with Woodbury residents to hear their concerns about the annexation of ACE Farm by the Village of Kiryas Joel and alleged “private landowners.” (Remember: They’re not private.) But instead, our corrupt Schumer Democrat is focusing his time and energy on petty grievances and vengeance.
What a surprise.
In Monroe, we have a primary between Monroe Town Councilwoman, Maureen Richardson, and Schumer Democrat, David Rabbitts. Mr. Rabbitts, by the way, went to his FIRST Town meeting this month. FIRST. If you can explain to me how someone, who has never been to a Town board meeting, and apparently didn’t know where the Town Hall was located, is qualified to be your Town Supervisor, I am truly dying to know.
Please.
People who like David Rabbitts: Tell me what it is exactly that you like about him. Because so far? He’s lied to the public, exhibited total ignorance about the position he’s running for, and endangered the health and safety of every New York State resident.
You like him why?
Because he’s not Councilwoman Richardson?
To that I ask, what exactly is the issue?
Because I hear a lot of “BJ doesn’t write anything bad about Councilwoman Richardson” from these people who like Rabbitts. You know why they say that? Because there isn’t anything to write about. Every time that the Councilwoman has spoken up at Town Board meetings, she’s been shouted down. She’s been physically bullied and outright assaulted by fellow Town Councilman, Sal Scancarello. And Supervisor Tax Hike (Tony Cardone) has wasted hours of town taxpayer time preventing Councilwoman Richardson from literally doing anything she was elected to do.
So again, I gotta ask: What would you like me to write about with concerning Councilwoman Richardson? Seriously. I want to know.
Because, having watched every Town Board meeting in Monroe for nearly two years? The worst thing I can say about Councilwoman Richardson is that I have no idea what kind of Town Supervisor she would be. She hasn’t had much of an opportunity to do anything as a Town Councilwoman. That’s not her fault. That’s Tony Cardone, Dorey Houle, and Sal Scancarello’s fault. That also hasn’t stopped her from working on behalf of Town of Monroe residents. For example, after The Monroe Gazette broke the story on the hydrogen sulfide situation in the Village of Monroe — Something Dorey Houle and Tony Cardone knew about FOR YEARS — Councilwoman Richardson filed a complaint with the DEC. The DEC then came and told Orange County to fix the problem. AFTER the DEC came? Dorey Houle finally wrote a letter asking them about the situation.
AFTER the DEC came? Tony Cardone started attending Orange County Sewer District 1 Advisory Committee meetings. Suddenly concerned about the situation.
You have Councilwoman Richardson to thank for tackling the poisonous gas on the children’s playground that Tony Cardone and Dorey Houle did nothing about FOR YEARS.
What exactly has David Rabbitts done for you?
Pictured Above: Local Bigot Brandon Calore is NOT the Mayor of Woodbury, but there are no rules, according to the New York State Board of Elections, about claiming you are in a campaign advertisement. Mr. Calore has refused to answer questions about who is paying for Mr. Cunningham’s services. Mr. Cunningham has declined to answer these questions as well. Since Mr. Calore was unemployed until recently, Woodbury voters deserve answers concerning who’s funding the Calore campaign.
Over in Woodbury, we have a Republican primary between sitting Woodbury Mayor Andrew Giacozomma, and Local Bigot Brandon Calore.
Plot Twist: Our State Senator, and Schumer Democrat, James G. Skoufis is actively working on behalf of Calore. We have first hand knowledge of this from multiple people Mr. Skoufis has contacted on behalf of Mr. Calore.
So I want someone to explain this to me: The Schumer Democrat is backing the MAGA Nazi in a Republican Primary for Woodbury Mayor why exactly?
I’ll tell you why: Because James G. Skoufis wants to run for Congress, and he’s banking on the support of the wealthy real estate developers to fund his campaign. If you don’t believe me, take a look at Congressman Mike Lawler’s Q1 financials that we reported on some weeks back. You’ll find KJ Poultry Chief Operating Officer Chaim Oberlander giving a max contribution to Congressman Lawler’s re-election campaign. You don’t think Mr. Skoufis saw that? Really?
Really?
Skoufis wants David Rabbitts as your Town Supervisor so he can hand over Monroe to the wealthy real estate developers. (Which, if I lived in Tuxedo, should make you all nervous.)
Skoufis wants Brandon Calore to be your mayor for Woodbury for that exact same reason.
If you recall, this time last year, Skoufis attempted to merge the Village of Woodbury and Town of Woodbury. Now we know why. This was done to help the ACE Farm annexation move forward. It’s easy to do that when you’re the Town of Palm Tree and Village of Kiryas Joel asking for Lead Agency Status in an annexation when there’s only one Woodbury.
See how all that works?
So it was me, Monroe and Woodbury residents, I’d make sure you’re registered to vote, and get yourself an Early Mail Ballot. Because Mr. Skoufis is coming to take both your towns and your villages from you.
(PS: Having talked with my Satmar brothers and sisters in Woodbury, I can most certainly say that many of them do NOT want this annexation into Kiryas Joel either. So please, don’t take this to mean I’m talking about the Satmar. I’m not. I’m talking about a very small group of wealthy real estate developers. Some of whom happen to be Satmar, that are looking to make themselves millions from these real estate transactions. In return, Mr. Skoufis is hoping they’ll buy him a seat in Congress.)
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Wile E. Coyote Lawsuits Against DOGE and South Blooming Grove
Since there are a lot of new people here, I hope you don’t mind with we clear the deck of some administrative stuff:
-No. As I said elsewhere, I am not running against State Senator Skoufis in the Democratic primary next year. I am; however, encouraging Democrats to primary him, and Republicans to run against him. As we’ve covered just recently, Dorey Houle sucks. She is an awful Town of Monroe candidate, and has (twice) been defeated by Skoufis for the State Senate seat. This Fall, we should all work together to make sure Dorey Houle finds herself looking for a new job. Because she’s demonstrated how uniquely unqualified she is for this one.
I am absolutely convinced a Non-MAGA Nazi Republican could beat Skoufis. I intend to find that person and help them win. Unseating Skoufis, a Schumer Democrat that puts the wealthy and the well-connected ahead of the people, is a net positive for Orange County, and it’s something we should all work together to do. It’s time to kick this vindictive little shit out of power. It’s not going to be my name on the ballot, but in the words of Olenna Tyrell, “Tell Circe. I want her to know it was me.”
-Why am I not running? I want to be back in Los Angeles full time no later than the Olympics. That has no impact on The Monroe Gazette since I’ve been writing this, for over a year now, from both Los Angeles and Monroe. In fact, most of you haven’t noticed the difference. So don’t worry. I’m not suddenly going to rename this thing The West Hollywood Gazette. Where I am doesn’t matter. It’s what you do. In my case, I will always have family here. Three disabled adults. I very much care about what happens to them, their home, and their community in Southern Orange County. Since they can’t speak for themselves, I started The Monroe Gazette to help speak for them. Don’t let Team Skoufis, or the Local Bigot, or any of these weird fucking people (including local Nazi Jay Westerveld) make my location into a thing. I’ve seen Skoufis try to do that on Facebook. I’m sure he will continue to do it, because he’s fresh out of ideas. Take a look at his legislative record: He’s constantly working on tax breaks, but no big swings on behalf of the people he’s been elected to serve. You know why? He doesn’t care about you. He cares about himself and running for higher office. If he cared about you, he’d fix the FOIL law. Not tinker on the margins. He’d fix New York’s Campaign Finance Laws, not tinker on the margins. He’d pass the New York Health Act, not pretend it doesn’t exist. It doesn’t matter what people say, it matters what thy do, and what he does, is very little.
-Where is the podcast? It’s coming this month. For monthly, paying subscribers, you’ll also get an audio version of some Monroe Gazette posts. Not all. I haven’t quite figured out what the production schedule will look like. Ideally, I want to do interviews with local figures. I also want to do a short, three minute weekly thing. There used to be a guy on one of the New York City radio station’s. He’d come on for a minute, maybe two, tops. Tell you what was on his mind, and then he fucked back off into the ether. I kind of like that. This is a long way of saying you’re going to see some changes here. If I can do one long, in-depth investigative report, one short three minute thing, and an interview each week? That’s the goal. It’s also probably going to be impossible. But I’m letting you know in advance. If you start to see new stuff. Or if you see that these posts are a little bit shorter, it’s because I’m working this out. Maybe one week you see an interview and get a short post. Another you get an investigative story. We’ll see.
-We’re going to do some more national posts. Specifically on where the government is doing something that directly impacts you. 60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. So when Walmart, America’s largest retailer, announces price hikes because of the Trump Tariffs, that’s something that impacts local residents. (And just a reminder that, literally at any time, Congressional Republicans can end the tariff madness. Congress is supposed to be in charge of tariffs. Trump and MAGA are exploiting a loophole by claiming there’s an “emergency.” There isn’t one. Not all tariffs are evil, by the way. But the way MAGA and Trump are utilizing them demonstrates there’s no strategy here. Tariffs can only be effective as part of a larger strategy with clear goals and objectives. Can you, MAGA Republicans, identify to me what exactly the strategy and goals are here with these 10% across the board tariffs? Because it ain’t negotiating. All that’s been announced so far is bullshit and delays. Bullshit specifically done for performance that wind up hurting the audience that performance is meant for:
-Substack has a lot of problems. I am (eventually) going to move us off this platform. One problem, and this is true of any email newsletter, is that after a year of doing it, you start to get a lot of grey mail. That grey mail hurts your Sender Reputation Score. That means then if you send out a new post, not everyone is going to see it. A few of you have mentioned not receiving new posts from The Monroe Gazette in your inbox. So, if you’re using Gmail, make sure to whitelist our email address. You can find directions on how to white list an email address here. The email address to Whitelist is: monroegazette@substack.com. In the coming weeks, you may get an email from me asking you to whitelist this email with directions on how to do it.
-I had to limit my social media activity because of State Senator Skoufis. He was basically copying and pasting my jokes, and then saving them because he was under the impression I was running against him. (Again, I’m not. But I’m sure he’s going to save them all the same. Because when you’re the kind of man who can’t be bothered to actually work on behalf of your voters, you have a lot of time on your hands.)
But those days of self-censorship are over.
We will have a YouTube account to host the podcast.
We will also have a TikTok account for the short videos.
And, yes, I will be back to posting jokes over on BlueSky soon. Starting in July.
-And finally, there was a ton of interest in the Pro Se lawsuit against Attorney General Letitia James for her inaction in South Blooming Grove.
For months now, I’ve been thinking about “the next book.” Right now, there’s a fiction novel I need to finish. It’ll be done by July at my current rate. (I seem to average 12,000 words a month, although I would probably be further along if not for The Monroe Gazette. I can’t write jokes, update this newsletter, and write that novel at the same time.)
For a while, I thought it’d be a book on the 14th Amendment. But the Supreme Court seems pretty dead set on fucking with the 14th Amendment. First with Trump v. Anderson, where they removed the automatic provision that barred insurrectionists from holding or running for federal office.
Now, it’s up to Congress to remove insurrectionists from the ballot, which is not at all what America wanted coming out of a Civil War. A war fueled, in large part, by acrimony and partisanship in Congress due to Sectionalism.
Now, the Supreme Court is looking to overturn a cornerstone of the 14th Amendment: Birthright Citizenship.
So, writing about the 14th Amendment while the Supreme Court seems dead set on altering it seems silly.
It’s probably worth waiting to see what the damage is, and then explaining to you in a book why that damage is bad for you. (Spoiler Alert: Let’s say you’re the most xenophobic person in Woodbury. You might think, “Well, fuck those brown people.” But what you don’t understand is that the 14th Amendment is the cornerstone amendment. Without it, what you have is a world where any state — and in some cases any municipality or county in a state — can apply rules and regulations differently. That’s going to spell trouble for you as well. Every time we let the wealthy and the corporations fund fascists who want to make the world shittier for everyone but them? That wave doesn’t just stop at the people you don’t like. It’s going to come for you as well. I promise you. In fact, I’d bet my life on it. So, the smart thing, is to oppose any changes to the 14th Amendment and demand that it keep the promise it was intended to keep: That all of us are created equal and treated as equals under the law.
In researching what would have been the 14th Amendment book, I came across something really interesting. Which is that the 6th Amendment only entitles you the right to an attorney in a criminal proceeding. So, if you’ve been wronged by Joel Stern and Isaac Ekstein, and many of you have, there’s no right to an attorney to help you do something about what’s happening in South Blooming Grove.
And since most Americans live pay check to pay check, the majority of people can’t afford a good lawyer. (Assuming a lawyer will take on your case, which many won’t. That’s because, in our area the Village of Kiryas Joel, for example, has actively created a situation where most local lawfirms can’t represent you because of one form of a conflict or another.)
That leaves you with only one option: The Wile E. Coyote lawsuit. So, while I’m not 100% there yet, I’m leaning toward writing a book, beginning in July, that would explain how I’m filing a Wile E. Coyote lawsuit against DOGE and the Social Security Administration.
I’m not a lawyer. But I am going to consult with a lot of lawyers.
This is not legal advice, but I am going to show you, step by step, what it is I’m doing to file a Wile E. Coyote Lawsuit.
If, for some reason, you are inspired to do the same after reading such a book? That’s great. You should always speak to a lawyer first. Again, I’m not a lawyer. But I can’t stop you from doing whatever it is you’re going to do with that information. You get what I’m saying?
So, be on the lookout for posts about that project starting in July. And I’ll see you next week.