Monroe Residents Ask When Penis Shaped Man Will Return to Work

Has anyone seen missing Monroe Town Councilmember, Sal Scancarello?

You may have noticed that Monroe Town Councilman—and man who resembles a walking phallus—Sal Scancarello has been missing in action for a while now.

That’s Sal, appropriately, on the far right in the image below.

Dorey “I spent almost $500,000 on racist TV Ads” Houle is on the left, and the man making the “I Have Dementia, Don’t Tell My Son” face is Tony Cardone.

Despite constant noise at recent public comment periods about the town board’s dysfunction, it’s not Houle asking “Where’s Sal?” Nor is it her former campaign managers, Carol Scully and her husband, multi-time losing candidate for town board Scout Master Steven Thau, Monroe Village Trustee and ally of the Alex Melchiorre administration, Debbie Berringer, Carol Hawxhurst, and other members of the Monroe Republican committee.

That doesn’t dismiss the other issues going on in the town of Monroe.

But.

I tell you this about Sal Scancarello to highlight the main point that these people are old, decrepit, irrelevant MAGA windbags who can’t process that they lost overwhelmingly in a free and fair election.

Sound familiar?

Because tonight at 9 p.m., the dictator is going to tell you about all this new “evidence” he found of fraud in the 2020 election. And for that reason, he’s going to announce plans to meddle in November’s election. This way, he and all his friends can stay out of prison for the rest of their lives.

What you see locally is just an example of what you see nationally: Old white people, over 50, who own homes and can’t process anything beyond what Fox News tells them to think.

All seething at the “whiners” who didn’t have government subsidized college tuition, suburbs, and jobs like they did thanks to the Cold War, and a general interest on the part of the government to tax the wealthy to reinvest that money back into America.

And if the death cult says elections are rigged and unfair, that trickles down to local politics, with the town Republicans doing their best to call last fall’s Monroe election into question.

In our case, this is more of the age old, and mathematically difficult to prove “Jewish Conspiracy” involving the Satmar. While there are definitely problems there, this ain’t South Blooming Grove. People came out to vote in the Fall of 2024, and they did not vote for this weirdo MAGA shit.

But there’s nothing you can do about it. Because it’s a cult, and Sal Scancarello’s absence, and the lack of calls into investigating that absence, is proof.

If these people care SO MUCH about the functions of town government, where is all the concern about a missing town councilmember making about $17,000 this year for doing less than nothing.

There isn’t any.

Because as I keep saying, it’s a cult. And they only care about what’s good for the cult. Which is why we will not survive this moment in American history until we get our heads around the fact that you’re not dealing with two political parties. You are dealing with one that’s been hijacked by a cult, and the other that’s paralyzed from fighting the cult because they’re getting a lot of money from people who fund the cult.

(By the way, U.S. Rep. Pat Ryan has finally divorced himself from AIPAC. Better late than never, big guy. I guess we just needed to let Israel pursue a course of vengeance, instead of justice, following October 7 and getting us into a whole-ass war. So. To recap: Israel committing genocide is fine with Pat Ryan. Israel getting us into dumb-ass wars with Iran is not. Got it. Thanks, Pat!)

The Monroe Gazette has been told from sources close to the matter, Mr. Scancarello does not have a medical excuse for his absence. His Internet presence has not offered any clues either.

Mr. Scancarello, unlike his friends Dorey Houle and Interim village of Walden Manager Tony Cardone (below), is not very online and constantly spreading bullshit like Mr. Cardone in our example here.

America gets Trump. Monroe gets Tony Cardone. This man will not let go—not until he sneaks his way back into office long enough to get that taxpayer-funded pension. This way, he can steal from you until he’s “off the table.”

Here’s one of Sal’s more recent Facebook updates:

As you all know, Charlie Kirk was a racist that read C-Minus 4Chan posts into a microphone for money. Specifically money provided to him from Fossil Fuel oligarchs. So, of course MAGA Sal Scancarello is going to participate in making Kirk a State approved Saint.

We FOIL’ed for the exact number of meetings Mr. Scancarello has missed and the Town of Monroe declined to provide that information, stating that they don’t have a separate attendance tracker for Councilmembers.

Given the attendance issues with Mr. Scancarello, one would think they’d start keeping track.

We reached out to Mr. Scancarello for comment.

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If you want to fix the place that you live in, you can’t do it sitting on the couch. And you can’t do it when you don’t have a full Board of Trustees to do the job they were elected to do. The resolution to this story is a simple one: the town of Monroe can remove Mr. Scancarello from office and hold a special election to fill his seat. I think all those people flapping their lips about how upset they are with Supervisor Richardson should get off the couch and put their necks on the line.

Don’t you? I mean, these people have nothing but time to complain on Facebook and complain at meetings. Let’s see if their opinions are as popular as they think they are.